Theodore, I adore

This is my family... well except for Jones.  But he was the one taking the photo... maybe.  I can't recall.  Anyway, we are a happy little bunch.  I just wanted to type out a short version of the birth story while I had a second, and I'll make sure to post some pictures sometime berry berry soon.  Because our little Fyodor sure is a handsome little nugget!

As many of you know, I planned on a natural birth.  I had many reasons for wanting such, and all of those reasons involved a healthier mother and baby.  I did a LOT of reading on the matter.  I wanted all the stats.  And at the end of the day, I just wanted to trust my body to do what it knew how to do... and I'm glad I did.  It ended up being one of the most amazing experiences of my life.  If you are a lady who plans on having a baby, I HIGHLY encourage you to do a little research on the matter.  You are in charge of your body and should be informed.  Mmmmk?

So I had been having contractions FOR DAYS.  And for once, I'm not exaggerating.  They were keeping me up at night and driving me crazy.  Thus, when my actual labor started, I was caught off guard and didn't know what to think.  I'd been watching Downton Abbey and suffering through the regular contractions when suddenly the thought hit me that they were regular.  And I knew it was the real thing.  So I did what anyone would do... I ran upstairs and started reviewing my birthing books as though I was cramming for the SAT's, while sobbing uncontrollably.  My only thought was that I had never had a baby before, so why had I been so confident that I could do it drug free?  Why had a told so many people about my natural birth plan when I was TOTALLY going to end up chickening out?!?  ACK?!?!  Anyway, Hippy was lucky enough to come home from class around this time... and he knew what was up.  He reassured me that it didn't matter how our baby came into this world, because he was going to be loved regardless.  He also reminded me that I had options, and I would know what I needed when it was time.

I labored at home for about 5 hours.  I didn't want to get to the hospital too early... and by the time we left, I mostly just didn't want to have to get in the car for the 25 minute drive to the U.  By the time we got there, I was dilated to a 6 and fully effaced.  Easy peasy.  Okay, so thats a lie... it was hard work.  Contractions suck.  But I knew that they were doing a job and helping me progress, so it was a very manageable pain.  Just sayin'.  My biggest obstacle was getting over the FEAR of the pain... not the actual pain itself.  My body only threw at me as much as I needed to progress.  And I could handle that.  I kept waiting for the moment when I would need an epidural, but that moment never came.  In fact, the idea of a needle in my back seemed WAY worse to me than my contractions, at the time.

I did most of my hard labor in a tub at the hospital, with a midwife standing nearby, giving me encouragement.  The tub really took a lot of the pressure of gravity off of everything, which felt awesome.  I also had Hippy squeezing my hips with each contraction, because the counter pressure really seemed to help open me up and took some of the pain away.  I had my little team of cheerleaders which consisted of Hippy, my mom, his mom, and my midwife.  Besides their cheering, I really was left to myself to labor.  It was perfect.  Anyway, after about 3-4 hours, I told my midwife that I needed to poop.  She told me I was probably ready to push.  I told her I didn't want to accidentally poop in the tub.  Then another contraction hit and I knew she was right.  I was ready to poop my baby!!  I practically ran to the labor bed, and lo and behold, the pushing began.  I laid on my side with Hippy holding me up.  My mom was on the other side of me, holding my leg up for me.  And Lora, Hippy's mom, was at the bottom of the bed, calling Fyodor's name.  It was awesome.  I relied on my contractions to give me the power to push this baby out of me, and they pulled through.  Honestly, I was so tired at that point (it was nearly 5am) that I don't know if I could have summoned the energy otherwise.  Also, as a side note... I'd heard that the worst part is the crowning.  I'd heard it described as "the ring of fire."  Just so you know, I didn't experience this.  It simply felt like I was pushing a baby out of me.  No more, no less.  And after about 20 minutes of pushing, OUT HE CAME!  I could feel his little body slip out of mine as he gave a hearty cry.  They placed him directly onto my chest and covered us in warm blankets.  He was perfect.  Still is.

And thats that!  I thought I was going to keep this short, but I couldn't.  I just can't believe what an amazing experience it ended up being.  It wasn't easy, but it was amazing.  I had my mom write out her version of the birth story for me, and she mentions that she kept praying that angels would surround me and comfort me.  As I type out this version of the story... its so clear to me that I was very lucky to have angels with me the whole time... in the form of my family, who held me and cheered me on the whole way.  I really couldn't have asked for a better way to welcome little Fodie into the world.

And yes, we still call him Fyodor.  Yeah, we might always call him some variation of it.  But he'll get over the embarrassment of it all someday.  Perhaps.   <3

Another round of Cadbury Creme Eggs... and make mine a double.

Oh, its that joyous time of year... where I binge on Cadbury Creme Eggs and then lay around the house all day reading YA fiction and not brushing my hair! Aw life... you are too good to me.

So right... lets update, shall we? I'm at a robust 38 weeks pregnant and feeling pretty awesome. I quit my job about 2 weeks ago, and have been enjoying a little extra time to myself. Honestly, I thought I'd be able to get SO MUCH accomplished around the house once I stayed home... but in reality, I mostly only just have enough time to eat, clean up after my eating, and contemplate what I want to eat next.

Oh, and look out the window. Jones and I can look out the window like a couple of champs!

But I've been feeling great and I've only just recently started to get all crazy nervous about the upcoming VAGINA TORTURE 2012. Thats what its been named. Just now. In my head. Oye.

But here are a few pictures, to document my leeetle bump. The red dress pics are at around 34ish weeks. I'm a fancy lady. Also, I like that sweet hippy is in the photo shoot, but he looks really short since I'm wearing my heels. Also, my necklace is sexually assaulting me. UNTOWARD.

The black dress/green shirt pics were taken just the other day on our 4 year anniversary <3

We got pretty and then went out for pizza and played skiball at Boondocks. It was rad.

And lastly, a little nudity for you good folks. I feel like a large pregnant woman, but seem to look all dainty in pictures. I have a lot of black clothing. So here is a picture of my belly. Nice and firm, like a supermodel. Maybe not the same kind of firm... but still totally Vogue.

Too awkward?? Right, moving on.

In other still-baby-related news... We got so much awesome swag for this little man. FO REAL. My favorite swag being the homemade variety. An example: The knitted water monstoh and teeeeenie tiny shoes (with matching blanket even!) that Hippy's coworkers made. How kind is that?!

I also wanted to add a lil' something crafty into the nursery, so I cross stitched some things.

Oh, and Hippy's mom helped us add some shiny stripes to an accent wall in the nursery. Just to make it fancy. But lets be honest, its still a little bare in there to be considered fancy. Really, there are a bunch of baby clothes in one corner, and this darling little changing table (a roadside rescue that I refinished last spring, pre-pregnancy) in the other, and thats about it. But come on, the baby is going to be hanging out in our room, sleeping next to the bed in his lil' pack-n-play bassinet for a while, anyway. Plus, his room can't be fancier than mine, otherwise I'll get all jelly (or jealous, as some might say). *Note: this pic was taken with the crappy camera, so its not so pretty. Um, sorry.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll have some pictures of a sweet tiny man for you next time. (Yes, I mean Jones.) But I might have a few of Fyodor too :) YAY!

Cream cheese and Christmas trees

Its finally snowing for the first time this winter, so I'm feeling rather cheery today and thought I'd post some pictures about this rather event filled month. BUT FIRST! Some bump pictures. Thats right folks... The bump doth expandith!

So, here I am training my pet hawk...er... owl. Wait, was this when I went to Hogwarts? In any case, this is at about 20 weeks?



This next picture is from the same day... but its a more accurate representation of what my life has been like lately. I like to call this picture: Harmony holding a sh*tload of food which she will later devour. It was basically like Shark Week after we snapped this picture. No sandwiches survived.



And this is at about 24 weeks along. I like this picture. So does Fyodor.



However, Jones did not like this photoshoot as much as the rest of us. He is such a fun hater.



AND THEN! Between Christmas and New Years, we had a very exciting event...

ELBA GOT MARRIED! My dear sister tied the knot! Here she is on her special day:



Oh wait, that is another reindeer friend who got married. THIS is Elba:





It was a lovely reception. She had it at a funky old church in the Avenues and her colors were red/aqua. The food was awesome, as was the music and company. Laffy posted a bit about the decor and such over at happychippyjunk.blogspot.com . Lots of work, but lots of fun. High Five, Elbs!

And lastly, here is the latest and greatest bump photo from about an hour ago. 25 weeks. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snowwww!

An interesting development

If you google "pajamas pooping flap"... I come up in the results, not once... BUT TWICE! I feel like some kind of footsie pajamas super star. Should I be embarassed? Because I can't help but feel proud that my life has led up to this moment...

I'd like to thank all my fans who made this possible! /wave wave, kiss kiss

Unsolicited Uterus Update 2011

Well, I guess its about that time again. Time to stop blog stalking everyone I know, so that I can tell you about my uterus. And find an excuse to posts lots of pictures of myself. Because I'm cocky like that... or shall I say... WE are cocky like that. Me and my little fetus, who we'll call... Fyodor.

I'm 22 weeks pregnant, my friends! And get moodier and more swollen by the minute. Sexy, no?!

So, little Fyodor (who doesn't have a proper name yet, because boy names are impossible to decide on) came into existence in the shadows of the Grand Tetons. Because who WOULDN'T want to be made near mountains named after big boobs? I mean seriously.

Anyway, don't we look like a couple of happy shmucks who have no idea how moody one of them is about to get??

Yeah, I'm not sure how Hippy got lucky in that hat either.

Moving on. So I'm sure you'd like some bump pictures... so here are a few for you:

FIRST! This is my Halloween costume from this year. Its a little lack luster, I know... but it was a fun way to mess with the neighbors and let them in on my little secret. Also, awesome because I made it with a little masking tape and spray paint. What CAN'T you do with spray paint... I mean REALLY. And yes, I realize that using spray paint that ONE TIME will probably make my fetus come out looking like a monkey... but who doesn't love monkeys?!?

Look at that HUGE 3 month bump I'm sporting. Yeah, I'm just barely starting to pop... but I took some pictures of my bump for you. So without further ado:

Here are Fyodor and I... just lounging around... you know, being secret agents. No big deal. IN MOAB!

Yeah, I thought that face was a sexy-face, but it appears that its actually my feeling gassy and confused face. They are similar apparently.

And this last picture is for my mom. Cheers to you, Grandma! (No, I wasn't really! Calm down!)

On a more serious note, I have had a great pregnancy so far. I felt queasy, but never puked in my first trimester. My skin is being lame but I can live with that. I haven't been nearly as tired in the past couple of months and really... the only thing that drives me nutty is the moodiness. I mean, I get pissy and sad over EVERYTHING. ALL THE TIME. I'm like the really mean roommate on every season of The Real World. But, just like the hyper-emotional teenager who I feel like... I'm just going to keep telling myself that someday I'll grow out of it. And hope that I'm not a big fat liar.

Oh, and I'm seeing a midwife! I'll still deliver at the hospital, but I'll get to work with the midwives, who have an astonishingly low c-section rate, and encourage all of the natural birthing shenanigans that I'm totally on board with. And yes, if I whimp out, I can still get an epidural. But look at those pictures above again. Do I LOOK like I need medication?! Wait, don't answer that.

This should be an exciting year!

I'll try to post more as I get all huge and odd looking. <3

Oh Summah, how I've missed you!

Its been so warm and nice.

Because of this, there have been sharts and crafts galore! I've done a few little projects, a couple of which I bothered with pictures of... and then we've been painting the house in hopes of looking less like a meth house. It sure does make a world of difference.

ANYHOW...

This was the beginning of a hopefuly project called "Spray painting a shower curtain to be more like Banksy." Suffice to say, it didn't turn out. There was spray paint EVERYWHERES! But look how cute the stencil is. Seriously. I'm going to try again. Maybe.





Also, as previously lusted after... I found a little bench to remake for my vanity. Well, technically Laughter found it in a dumpster, but whatever.








After


Do you think that Jones could have looked any more pathetic? Can't you just hear him saying, "This is so unfair. UNTOWARD MOTHER, UNTOWARD!"

Following this, there was MOAB!!!

Hippy photoshopped a whole slew of pictures at hippopothomas.blogspot.com. You should go look at them. They're perdy. DAS END.

Grabbin' spring by the bulbs

Oh Spring! How I love you!




We spent the weekend outside, weeding and basking in the sun. It was nice. Jones and Mooch sat in sunny patches of grass and soaked up the sun, like tiny loaves of bread being baked to perfection. And who doesn't like fresh bread? Am I right??

But anyway, I also antiqued my vanity. I use the term "vanity" loosely. Its my entry table that I use as a vanity... because while I would just lerrrrrv to have this lil' beaut:



It costs a lot. I'd only spend that much money on wigs, booze, or strippers... and this is none of those things. (Mom, I'm just kidding. I really meant that I'd only spend that money at Seagull book. True story.) In any case, this vanity was super cheap. I think Laughter picked it up for like a nickel. Or $15. Same thing. And then I spray painted it. And thus began my new addiction to spray paint. Here is a picture of my vanity, as a baby, getting its first taste of paint.



So then I painted a bunch of antiquing glaze on it and wiped it off, and spilled a little all over the garage floor... and SHA-ZAM!





I think its slightly less barbie-chic now. And what a charming place to put on wigs before heading to the strip club!

Next, I'd like to spray paint a padded piano bench to go with it. That way, it could scoot right underneath the vanity, and I could keep my nail polish and spare Cadbury Creme eggs in the hidden compartment. Besides, look how charming this is:



Anyway, this post is pretty much all for one of my cyber-stalkees, Mandi Swinson? Swanson, Slippy, Slappy. Oh yeah, samsonite! I was way off! Or...Tremayne. Yes, thats it. This blog post was going to be an email to her, about how I made due with an entry way table instead of a vanity... but then I got excited about the new antiquing glaze. And Mandi, its not that impressive, I know. But all I'm saying, is that if you do some epic mirror, and have a sweet girly little stoop with it... then it could work.

Jones agrees. And he has spot on fashion sense: