Monday, December 5, 2011

Unsolicited Uterus Update 2011



Well, I guess its about that time again. Time to stop blog stalking everyone I know, so that I can tell you about my uterus. And find an excuse to posts lots of pictures of myself. Because I'm cocky like that... or shall I say... WE are cocky like that. Me and my little fetus, who we'll call... Fyodor.

I'm 22 weeks pregnant, my friends! And get moodier and more swollen by the minute. Sexy, no?!

So, little Fyodor (who doesn't have a proper name yet, because boy names are impossible to decide on) came into existence in the shadows of the Grand Tetons. Because who WOULDN'T want to be made near mountains named after big boobs? I mean seriously.

Anyway, don't we look like a couple of happy shmucks who have no idea how moody one of them is about to get??


Yeah, I'm not sure how Hippy got lucky in that hat either.

Moving on. So I'm sure you'd like some bump pictures... so here are a few for you:

FIRST! This is my Halloween costume from this year. Its a little lack luster, I know... but it was a fun way to mess with the neighbors and let them in on my little secret. Also, awesome because I made it with a little masking tape and spray paint. What CAN'T you do with spray paint... I mean REALLY. And yes, I realize that using spray paint that ONE TIME will probably make my fetus come out looking like a monkey... but who doesn't love monkeys?!?


Look at that HUGE 3 month bump I'm sporting. Yeah, I'm just barely starting to pop... but I took some pictures of my bump for you. So without further ado:

Here are Fyodor and I... just lounging around... you know, being secret agents. No big deal. IN MOAB!

Yeah, I thought that face was a sexy-face, but it appears that its actually my feeling gassy and confused face. They are similar apparently.

And this last picture is for my mom. Cheers to you, Grandma! (No, I wasn't really! Calm down!)

On a more serious note, I have had a great pregnancy so far. I felt queasy, but never puked in my first trimester. My skin is being lame but I can live with that. I haven't been nearly as tired in the past couple of months and really... the only thing that drives me nutty is the moodiness. I mean, I get pissy and sad over EVERYTHING. ALL THE TIME. I'm like the really mean roommate on every season of The Real World. But, just like the hyper-emotional teenager who I feel like... I'm just going to keep telling myself that someday I'll grow out of it. And hope that I'm not a big fat liar.

Oh, and I'm seeing a midwife! I'll still deliver at the hospital, but I'll get to work with the midwives, who have an astonishingly low c-section rate, and encourage all of the natural birthing shenanigans that I'm totally on board with. And yes, if I whimp out, I can still get an epidural. But look at those pictures above again. Do I LOOK like I need medication?! Wait, don't answer that.

This should be an exciting year!

I'll try to post more as I get all huge and odd looking. <3

2 comments:

  1. Dear Secret Agent
    I've had five babies (in case your forgot how crazy I am). Only one of them was birthed with a fully functional epidural. I am a super wimp, if I can go medicineless (yes, that is a word), you totally can! I may have yelled at the nurses a little this last time but it was only for a few minutes because then the baby was out and I was like "Wow, that was easy" and they were looking at me like "Right, it was so easy you that you kept yelling at us". Good times.

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  2. I can't help but to think that you are in better shape than me, though, Mags. I get winded just from walking up the stairs to get another brownie. You, on the other hand, claim to work out every morning and your birth was probably like this:
    1) Flex crotch a couple times
    2) Instant baby!

    But I'm going to try... because either way it sounds like a lot of unpleasant liquids and stretching, so I may as well go with what my body was made for-- a natural pooping of child without a ton of meds. We'll see!! Also, you are amazing. 5 kids... sheesh!!!

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