Wednesday, February 27, 2013

The internet is my frenemy.

I don't blog as often as I'd like.  I enjoy blogging because its rather cathartic for me, not unlike a journal entry.  Also, it lets me brag like crazy and then check back for comments afterward, where people can give me the ol' digital high five!  But I haven't been blogging because every time I think of something to blog about, I end up writing like 10 words about it on facebook and then call it good.  Its like my brain goes straight to: "why find a witty way to express yourself when you can just dump a few words on your facebook friends and have them all LIKE your post?!!?  OMG!!!"  Ugh.  Its just silly.

I feel like I need a cleanse from the internet.  I made yogurt last night and it FINALLY turned out, after being super unsuccessful (not just regular unsuccessful, mind you) when I tried to make it a few days ago.  This morning when I raced upstairs to see if my yogurt had indeed been a success, my first thought wasn't to take a big dollop and try it and enjoy its flavor... my first thought was to post it on facebook in hopes that everyone would leave comments like, "OMG, you are sooooo domestic.  You are my hero, fer realsies."  I love the validation, but why have I become someone who needs it?  Its super pathetic.  Its like, I see a frenemy update her profile picture to something super gorgeous, so I feel the need to up the ante with my own new profile pic, and a braggy update.  Its just stupid.  AND, I'm doing all of this stupid facebook sneakery while I'm feeding my baby breakfast.  Its just too much to ask for me to make eye contact with my baby and have a healthy interaction with him in the morning.

Anyway, I know that blogging about it isn't much different... but I feel that blogging allows for a more complete picture of me to emerge, at least.  I try to offer insights into my feelings rather than just putting on my perfect-housewife mask.  So there is THAT justification.

With that said, I think I am going to take a break from the internet for a while.  I'll still check my email and hopefully blog a little bit... but I'm going to log off of facebook, reddit, and pinterest, etc for a while.  I'm tired of measuring myself against pretend internet personas and thinking that "if I could just craft a little more, or if I just put on make up more often, or if I went shopping and bought more stylish digs then..."  Then what?  Anyway, I want to do more things.  Real life things.  Things that might require interaction.  If any of you love me at all, feel free to email, call or drop by.  I think that the company will be much more fulfilling than just reading about your life on facebook.

Fodie found himself "stuck" in his toy basket.  If only life were always so "hard."

2 comments:

  1. Couldn't agree more, and I'm definitely guilty of the same things. It's nice to have Facebook to keep in touch with people, but all too often it becomes "good enough" instead of actually interacting with my friends (especially you and Hipster; it's been too damn long) and family. Thanks for the reminder, Harms.

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  2. I'm not on facebook but I have to remind myself to be in the moment with my kids and interact, not tune them out while I dink on my phone too much or watch tv too much or whatever. I think we all think everyone has this super perfect life online... when really we are all people who struggle at times but for the most part are very blessed. And you are one of my favorite people EVER!! You are so great, people are lucky to interact with you. It's true. And I love when we hang out so let's get together soon :) And Fodie is so cute I could die! What a handsome boy.

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